


Caught Up

by brokenhighways



Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Episode Related, M/M, POV Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 00:47:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10348602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: Zero's never been the kind of guy to get hung up over someone but he can't deny the fact that it gets harder to watch Jude walk away from him each time.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is set between 3x01 and...3x05-ish? There were already quite a few episode tags for 3x04 but I was like, eff it, imma write one anyway. And then I sat down and wrote something completely different, lol.

Despite the fact that he's coming off a championship winning season, Zero doesn't feel too good about life. His endorsements have trickled back in slowly but surely, and it turns out that his most ardent fans never left in the first place. He's still not as popular as Derek and Terrence but his contribution to the championship hasn't gone unnoticed. His representative agency pairs him with one of their top agents, Lucas, and there's talk of expanding his brand (whatever that means). It's not as grand as taking over the team but Zero doesn't mind. In his quest to become top dog, he lost everything. His dignity. His pride. Jude. It's enough that he's decided to put the scheming aside for now. Well. _Most_ of the scheming.   
  
Coming back from the dark side means that he's stuck chasing down Lucas constantly. If Lucas isn't sucking up to Derek, he's off screwing groupies that only flock to him because of who he represents. It's a far cry from Jude's stuffy all-about-the-business persona. While Jude would stand in the background periodically drinking from the same glass of Scotch, Lucas tends to knock back shots and disappear into backrooms. Zero's in no position to judge, but it's slightly unsettling and unprofessional.   
  
That's why he finds himself approaching Lionel's office one afternoon. He's looking for Lucas, _again_ .  Everyone's been buzzing about Derek's new contract negotiations and he'd like to remind Lucas that he's got other clients. Lionel's door is open and he knocks at it once before he saunters in.   
  
"Zero," Lionel greets him when she sees him. She doesn't smile but she seems amused. "Please don't tell me that you've gotten some poor girl pregnant?"   
  
Zero rolls his eyes. Fair enough, he's a fraud and he's a sleazeball, but all of the memes and snide comments are getting a little old now. Especially when they all know nothing about who he really is.   
  
"Actually, I was wondering if you know where Lucas is," he asks, choosing to ignore her comment. "Last I heard, he was here working on Derek's contract."   
  
Lionel smiles eerily and seemingly refrains from stroking her chin with glee. "Actually, he's getting drinks with Jude. I'm hoping that he'll manage to sweet talk Lucas into accepting this deal once and for all. I need Derek's signature as soon as possible."   
  
"He's with Jude?" Zero says. Lionel shrugs and raises an eyebrow. They never really came up with a reason for why Jude suddenly wasn't his agent anymore, at least Zero didn't. He doesn't know if Jude told Lionel anything.   
  
"I've been meaning to ask actually, what happened between you guys?" Lionel says. This time she looks scarily serious, with her pale blue eyes piercing straight into his. "One minute you were tight and the next... Nothing."

If anything it should be a relief that Jude hasn't told her anything but for some reason it makes him feel cold. Like Jude just hasn't mentioned him at all. 

Zero pastes on his trademark smirk and says, "Let's just say we had some differences."

It's obvious that she's not buying it because she snorts and goes back to peering at her laptop screen.

"Good luck with the next game, Zero. Nice chat."

  
~   
  
It doesn't take him long to find Jude and Lucas. They're at the Playground because apparently that's where everyone does their business. The first thing Zero observes is that Jude doesn't look as withdrawn and sad as he has over the past four months. At first Zero's glad because even though he couldn't - _can't_ \- give Jude what he wants, upsetting him is the last thing he'd do. Deliberately at least. He's always had a habit of hurting people, even when he's not trying.

However, knowing exactly what Lucas gets up to is what propels him forward. Before he knows it, he's approaching their table and cutting in. He says what first comes to mind, something about Trojan blowing up his phone. In reality, they've only called twice, but whatever, Lucas gets ten percent of his earnings; he needs to actually do something to justify that.   
  
Lucas is the opposite to Jude in that he's never tried to kiss Zero's ass or even given into the majority of his many demands. If he wasn't a complete douchebag, maybe they'd be friends, but as it is, Lucas is able to get away with all but dismissing him and sauntering out of the Playground. It happens so quickly that he barely registers Jude’s disparaging look.

“What?” he says, even though he's well aware of what the answer is.

“We both know what you just did and why you did it,” Jude says. He seems annoyed but that's hardly a surprise. “You won't be with me the way I want but you don't want me to be with anyone else.”

Zero doesn't really know what to say, but he hears himself saying, “I feel bad. I get that.”

He reaches across the table and places his hand over Jude's. Jude stares back at him passively and Zero wonders when he's going to stop fucking up.

Eventually Jude withdraws his hands slowly and just looks at Zero for a short while. He leaves shortly after that without a single backwards glance. 

Zero exhales deeply and flags down the nearest waiter. He needs a drink because all of this emotional shit is fucking exhausting. He genuinely _does_ feel bad - this whole possessive act is new to him. From the moment that he felt intense jealousy over Danny to now. He doesn't get caught up over people, doesn't chase after people. He certainly doesn't get _jealous._

Except for when it comes to Jude.

They've been through this song and dance a couple of times now. It helps that Jude seems to conduct all of his business at the Playground. Zero's jumped in on more meetings in the past four months than he can count. Usually, it's over stupid things, like just to say hi or to ask Jude about the captain situation. Each time it ends with Jude rolling his eyes and leaving.

Well, except for that _one_ time when there was a minor ‘delay’ before Jude got upset, grabbed his clothes and walked away.

Zero's never been the kind of guy to get hung up over someone but he can't deny the fact that it gets harder to watch Jude walk away from him each time. He can't lie to himself and deny the fact that he's in _love_. The one emotion that seems to have escaped him for the past twenty years. Growing up in his shitty house with shitty foster parents that were glad to see the back of him clouded his ability to feel anything.

That Jude has somehow sneaked in under all of his defences freaks the hell out of him.

~

In the end, everything is ripped out of his grasp. There's a moment of hope at the masquerade party - _I missed you too_ \- but his stupid, big mouth fucks that up.

He pulls his next card and tells Jude about Terrence and Jelena trying to buy the team but that doesn't work either. It's then that he realises that this is more than finding the right thing to say. He has to find it and actually _say_ it before it's too late. Not that getting Jude to be in the same space as him for five minutes is easy. There are several days of slow glances and missed opportunities before Zero finally stops trying to hope that Jude gives him the time of day. He waits out in the parking lot the night before opening game and stands there for an hour before Jude finally emerges.

By then, he's had too much time to overthink everything and he starts saying some shit about being up all over the stadium, like a damn _poster_ even matters. Jude clearly isn't interested because he brushes it off with business talk and sidesteps him in an attempt to leave. Zero's frustration levels finally reach their peak height and he hears himself snapping, saying something about how Jude sounds so cold even though he did something that wasn't for his own benefit for once.

He did something for someone else for the first time in a long time and…

It's not what Jude wants from him. The realisation hits him before Jude more or less says the same thing.

This time when Jude turns to leave, Zero can't stand by and let it happen.

He just thinks _fuck it_ and says, “I love you! Alright…”

Jude turns back to look at him, surprise etched all over his face in a way that makes Zero think, _after everything, how could you not know?_

Despite that, he still flounders and he's hit by a heavy wave of self-consciousness, because this is big.

This is _huge_ , but it's true. This thing with Jude just hit him like a cannonball and there's no getting out of the way, no escape. Just a sucker punch to the gut that's knocks the breath out of him.

He shifts awkwardly, turning away once before he finally looks back at Jude. “I...I love you, stupid.”

The surprise gives way to a hopeful smile and Jude's answer is said with more assurance than Zero's declaration was.

“I love you too.”

Zero can't help the way corners of his mouth slide upward. He's heard those three words from dozens of people. His mom before she left, various groupies who got clingy and his last serious girlfriend (who was a willing participant in his faux Christian persona so doesn't really count).

It's never truly meant anything to him.

Until now.

His happiness is short-lived because Jude has more to say: “But even still, it doesn't matter. Love isn't enough. I need someone I can actually be with like a _normal_ person. Someone who's able to be there for me in every way. Can you? Can you do that?”

Considering that Zero thought confessing his love would be enough, he doesn't need to contemplate an answer. It should be a straightforward _yes_ . Still, something causes him to hesitate. It might be a painful reality but the fact of the matter is that he's a famous basketball player. He's got people _all_ over him. He's a jerk, and he's selfish. He's so far from being what Jude needs that it would be a disaster if he even tried. He might not fuck up right away, but he would in the long run and he can't do that to Jude. Not after everything he's been through.

So he replies honestly, even though everything in him wants to say the opposite.

“No…”

There's a strange octave in his voice, like he's surprised by his own answer, and maybe he is. This is all he's wanted for months. A chance to make things right. To actually _be_ with Jude. Yet in the end, it turns out that he does have a conscience.

Jude’s face crumples and there's a sad frown. It's all too much suddenly and Zero can't bring himself to say anything. He doesn't want to make it worse. He definitely doesn't want to think about how he's going to be another person who's left Jude in the wind.

This time when Jude walks away, Zero lets him go.

~

Lucas sends him a stupid picture later that night. An awkward selfie of him and Jude at a bar captioned with a couple of unsubtle emojis. It makes Zero's blood boil but he forces himself not to text Lucas back or worse, confront Jude. Most of all, it kind of hurts. Obviously, Lucas has no qualms about being seen with Jude in public. No one cares about him, he's just an agent. However, Zero knows what Lucas is like. He knows that it's all going to end in disappointment.

He's also aware that there's nothing he can do about it. Not without Jude getting upset or thinking that he's jealous. He's completely helpless and it's a shitty feeling. Jude's already dealing with Oscar and his bullshit, and Zero reasons that he's just going to stay away from him. There's no point in reopening the wound again and again.

They're through and that's that.

~

Opening game is billed as this huge event but Zero isn't feeling it. He trades a few words with Jelena beforehand and ignores the way that his so-called payback just makes something churn in his stomach bitterly. The first half of the game goes well enough and he's happy to give the dance a miss at halftime and take a break in the locker room.

He's walking back from the bathroom when he catches Lucas practically scuttling away like his ass on fire. He'd seen him with Jude beforehand, earlier in the morning. Watched as Jude smiled at him and engaged in what appeared to be intimate conversation. For one trying moment, he'd even convinced himself that Lucas wasn't all bad. Perhaps the sleaziness was just an act.

Naturally, Lucas undoes that notion in less than five minutes. It's obvious that he's running away for some reason and after some prodding on his end, Lucas has no qualms about spilling all.

“I had sex with Jude.”

“Oh, yeah?” Zero can feel his eyes widen but it's like everything stops. Dating Lucas is one thing but sex? Especially after the whole _love_ thing. That makes Zero feel an emotion that he can't name. It's more than basic jealousy. All he knows is that it burns bright and stings like hell, like a fire has just erupted in his chest. He listens as Lucas basically objectifies Jude and forces himself not to react. He has to keep his hands by his side and physically stop himself from forming clenched fists.

The last thing he needs is to injure himself _halfway_ through a game and have a blowup with his agent spread all over the news.

“...but Jesus is he _needy_ and neurotic. Oscar's wrecked him for life, I mean he's totally undateable,” Lucas is saying when the red mist clears up somewhat and Zero finally starts to make sense of what he's hearing. He can't even find the words to respond to that but he doesn't need to because Lucas isn't done.

“...Jude's used to disappointment. He'll be fine. Catch you later.”

_Catch you later._

If Zero didn't need to get back on court, he'd catch Lucas _now_ . Preferably in the face with his fist but instead he has to settle for glaring at the man's retreating figure and wondering how he's going to break this to Jude. The thought of leaving Jude hanging is unbearable because he knows what he's like. He knows that Jude tends to cling on to people _hard_ with no regards for his own safety; for his heart.

If hearing that wasn't fucked up enough, Zero has to somehow focus during the second half. He manages to channel his anger into his game, to the point where Derek doesn't even hesitate before he passes him the ball. He scores a sweet layup shot but celebrating it feels all wrong. He accepts the slaps on the back but barely reacts and no one is more relieved than he is when the game ends. All that's on his mind as he congratulates his teammates is Jude. Does he let Jude fall and try to pick him up, or does he catch him before he hits the ground?

Given that just a few days ago, contemplating a normal, public relationship wasn't even an option, Zero decides to just strip away all of the superfluous thoughts in his mind.

What it comes down to is that he doesn't want to be part of the reasons why Jude is used to disappointment. Lucas might not give a damn but Zero can't physically deal with being one more person that’s fucked Jude up even more. Not when he knows what it's like to feel like he has nobody in his corner.

The decision, when it comes, barely registers in his mind. He can see Jude standing in the midst of the crowded court looking around frantically. He looks so out of place that Zero can't stop himself from going over. He stops in front of Jude and his words get stuck in his throat.

Jude's not even interested, barely looking at him as he says, “I can't talk now. I'm meeting someone.”

There's something in his voice that makes Zero make a split second decision.

“Lucas isn't coming,” he says, taking great care to make sure that his voice remains steady. His heart beats heavily in his chest but he steels himself for what he's about to do. Lucas might not think that Jude's worth much, but Zero does.

He always has.  

“Why not?” Jude asks with a slight frown.

“Cause I told him not to,” Zero hears himself saying before he darts forward and kisses Jude, placing his hands on his face in order to draw them closer. Jude's lips are still at first but then he kisses Zero back and suddenly, just for one moment, it's just _them_ and it feels right.

~

The cracks start to appear on the second day after the kiss. Reporters hassling him, _everybody_ harassing him. He can't even cross the street without getting some comment and it drives him up that wall. If he could do away with this side of things then everything would be perfect but there's no getting away from it.

He tries not to let Jude see how much everything is bothering him. Not when things are so good between them. It's not just the sex, but just _being_ with Jude and not being told to stay away and not causing him pain. That makes all of this worth it. At least until it all reaches a point where he can't handle it anymore. When spa workers who are usually known for their discretion start snapping pictures mid-massage, it's a _big_ fucking problem.

In his haste to get out of the situation, he says something about regretting the kiss. It's only later when he's driving back to his house that he realises the implications. By then, Jude's called him three times and he's sobered up a little. He's no longer angry, just... Frustrated. He doesn't regret sparing Jude from the disappointment, definitely doesn't regret kissing him.

Maybe that's all that matters.

~

Somehow, Jude knows the right thing to say and Zero comes to the conclusion that everyone else can fuck off. They can talk, tweet, gossip and whatever and it won't bother him. He's made it this far without caring about what people think about him. This is just another storm that he's going to have to weather.

That just leaves Lucas, who's been blowing up his phone ever since the kiss was broadcast _everywhere_ . Zero isn't going to return any of the calls or messages, hell, Lucas is lucky that his ass hasn't been kicked. _Yet_. Payback for Jude aside, he's still going to have to explain why he suddenly needs a new agent.

That means telling the truth.

“I'm thinking about getting a new agent,” he remarks casually as they sit on the couch. They're not doing anything, just watching some old rerun like a _normal_ couple. Not that Zero knows what normal people do. Jude might be desperately chasing some semblance of normalcy but to Zero, they're far from being normal.

They're _better_ than normal.

“Are things too awkward with Lucas?” Jude asks. He sounds concerned but all Zero can think is _I know that you slept with him._ They haven't spoken about it and honestly, Zero isn't angry or jealous, he just believes that Jude is owed the truth.

“Look, he told me about... y'know,” Zero starts awkwardly. “He told me that you had sex with him and he said a whole bunch of other things that aren't worth repeating. Most importantly, it was _him_ who decided not to meet you court-side.”

The ensuing silence is disrupted by the laughter track sounds on the television and Zero wants to smash the stupid thing.

Jude's face is unreadable and Zero bites at his lip anxiously. This - being worried about someone's feelings - is so alien to him that he has no idea how to act. Or what to say. The fear of failure is so high that he can feel his heart racing a little.

“What did he say exactly?” Jude asks because he always needs to know every tiny detail so he can examine them closely later. Get so lost in his head that he works himself into knots. That's not what Zero wants so he tries to keep it concise.

“Just that he wasn't coming and that you'd get over it because you were used to disappointment.”

Jude snorts, a soft self deprecating sound that Zero automatically hates.

“He's right. I am used to disappointment. It's all I've known for so long. At least it was until I met you.”

Zero's ears perk up at that. Jude might just be blowing smoke up his ass but he'll take it anyway he can.

“You sure about that?” he asks anyway. “I basically lied to you before I kissed you.”

Jude nudges Zero's shoulder and smiles gently. “Yeah, to protect me, stupid. And that means more to me than anything. You could have left me standing there, alone and disappointed but for the first time in my life, someone actually _chose_ me.”

The relief that Zero feels threatens to flood him and he sags back into the couch. He has no idea what the fuck he's doing here but on the flip side, neither does Jude. Somehow they've just stumbled into each others paths and haven't managed to get out of the way.

“I'll _always_ choose you,” he replies earnestly, even if he's inwardly wincing at how cheesy it sounds.

Jude doesn't respond, just means forward for a chaste kiss, the kind that makes Zero's lips tingle with the promise of what's to come. Jude stands up to go and get them beers a second later, but Zero knows that it's for his benefit. To give him a moment to regroup and not get self-conscious about everything he's just said.

Zero appreciates it but at this point, the space isn't necessary. He might not like to talk about his feelings or get all sentimental but if that's the difference between having Jude and not having him, he'll say every sappy thing that he needs to.

That's what love is.

**_Fin_ **.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! ♥


End file.
